Detecting Open Ports using Javascript/Ajax/HTML?

Detecting Open Ports using Javascript/Ajax/HTML?

I have a serious problem with people attacking my web-server, that or just
crawling it for Information. Sadly I have chosen Weebly as my host
provider - This limits my code to Ajax (Possible), JavaScript, Flash,
HTML, and basic other codes.
I have attempted to create scripts to block out VPNs, TOR, Proxies and
other forms of "proxied" connections. Though I do not wish for people to
be "blocked", simply not come to my domain with connections that have been
spoofed (Proxied).
I have never coded Ajax, and I believe Weebly allows it, Flash would be
new to me as-well and JavaScript I can sorta-Code. But non-the-less I
cannot figure this out:
Simple request: If ports:
20,21,22,25,80,81,82,83,96,139,1935,443,1080,3018,3077,3078,4624,5009,6666,7808,8080,8081,8085,8089,8090,8118,8181,8888,9000,9050,9150,9999,22127,35884,38779
are open, or, a GET request works (Some form of another code is required I
asssume) simply redirect to /security.html if not, allow the connection.
This would be placed on the footer, so it's site-wide and all sub-domains
as well.
Those ports are really the only ports I know of proxies to use, though I
am quite sure they could use almost any.
If anyone has a solution better than what I am thinking of, please, my
email is omegle.logs@mail.com
T'would be nice to be able to block these connections - 4chan, reddit and
other places from the deep-web raid my website daily.
~Justin